lost

I'm lost but I'm not stranded yet

Lundi 17 août 2009 à 7:51

Me voici revenu, malheureusement pour vous, ô lectorat inexistant bien qu'adoré. J'aurais voulu qu'il en soit autrement, mais l'apocalypse atomique n'a pas eu lieu; tant pis pour nous, il faudra supporter cette pitoyable mascarade qu'est l'espèce humaine encore longtemps en attendant qu'un connard quelconque (mais bien inspiré) écrase ce foutu bouton rouge un jour.

Mais là n'est bien entendu pas la question.

La question serait plutôt de savoir pourquoi on peut en arriver à désirer voir l'avènement d'un hiver nucléaire alors qu'il fait 30°c à l'ombre, ce qui implique des possibilités sans limites pour un nombre incroyable de trous-du-cul de se faire bronzer dans des situations malséantes, inesthétiques et si possible désagréables pour leurs voisins? Justement, là est le problème. L'été encore plus que le printemps, les cons sont de sortie, envahissant tels des rats les trottoirs des villages les plus dépeuplés, se répandant telle une nauséabonde marée noire dans les parcs et sur plages, bref on ne voit pour ainsi dire plus qu'eux.

Impossible de sortir sans croiser un de ces douchebags post-modernes affublé de lunettes ejac-faciale-proof© et vêtu de fringues dont la blancheur virginale n'a d'égale que l'incroyable propension que possède la compagne de celui-ci à de faire péter le cul par le premier macaque consanguin venu ressemblant un tant soi-peu au modèle précité (l'origine du phénomène venant du manque de discernement de ladite femelle incapable qu'elle est de reconnaitre un déchet d'un autre, d'autant qu'elle passe sa vie bourrée à la vodka-red bull, forcément).

Impossible d'échapper aux vomissures publicitaires relookées pour la saison chaude qui nous noient sous des poncifs débilitants à propos de bonheur, de positivisme et de dynamisme à la mord-moi-le-noeud. Sous prétexte que le soleil semble heureux (Puisqu'il brille beaucoup, ça il n'y a pas à dire, ce gros enculé. C'est pourtant ridicule puisque qu'il se contente d'être tandis que ce sont les nuages qu'il faudrait encenser, tout partis qu'ils sont à submerger les pays en développements et si possible faire crever un peu plus les sous-hommes racialement inférieurs qui y habitent. Pensez-y, ô publicistes blancs, ça fera joli à côté des affiches non déchiquetées de la liste Antisioniste), il faudrait que tout le monde le soit. Mais heureux, voyons, suivez un peu.

Impossible également d'échapper aux habituelles, sempiternelles et répétitives questions qui n'ont d'autres buts que d'introduire la conversation de celui qui les pose à propos de son Merveilleux Programme des Vacances. A savoir : "tu fais quoi pendant les vacances?", question souvent accompagnée du célèbre "tu vas où?". Franchement à ce compte là, autant ne pas poser la question et faire des fiches pour tout le monde en inscrivant où vous partez, combien de temps et avec qui. Au moins, pas besoin d'écouter les réponses des gens, vous vous en foutez. Non? Oh, non, bien entendu, si le Programme est meilleur, on peut jalouser la personne en question et trouver des dizaines de prétextes foireux pour la détester en restant honnête avec soi-même. Le bonheur à l'état pur. Bande de sales langues de putes.

Ajoutons à ceci qu'en été les rues sont puantes, remplies de touristes décérébrés, bruyants, malpolis, sales et laids. Que les vendeurs ambulants qui se font leur beurre sur leur dos sont à peine moins décérébrés, malpolis, sales et laids (oui j'ai volontairement retiré bruyants, rien de plus bruyant qu'un connard de clampin vendant des lunettes à la sauvette) et nous avons un merveilleux cocktail taillé pour nous faire détester la vie jusqu'à la fin de nos jours.

Bref, comme d'habitude j'ai la flemme de développer plus, notamment parce qu'aucun de vous n'en vaut la peine et que ça devrait vous suffire, avec le volume d'informations qu'il y a à digérer, vous en avez pour la semaine. Je conclus donc. Face à toutes ces abominations la vision de l'hiver me remplit de joie et j'avoue qu'en fait, atomique ou pas, je voudrais juste qu'il s'abatte sur ces rescapés de la noyade à la naissance qui exhibent leurs jambes épilées et bronzées sur la place publique. J'imagine que ça leur ferait les pieds de se payer une bonne hypothermie.

Sur ce, je vais me coucher. Je salue tous ceux qui à cette heure-ci vont travailler. Vous au moins vous ne me faites pas chier.

Mais je me marre bien en pensant à vous.
Par click le Vendredi 9 janvier 2015 à 7:06
C'est toujours gratifiant de découvrir que le mot Ornithorynque résume à lui seul des dizaines de textes. Veinard!
Par http://www.juke-box-ados.fr le Mardi 26 mai 2015 à 11:56
Faites un effort, merde. Prenez des cours, je ne sais pas moi, faites preuve d'un peu d'imagination et de savoir vivre. On ne devrait pas être autorisé à être désobligeant quand on n'est pas capable de l'être correctement, je vais finir par devoir faire le boulot moi même si ça continue.
Par http://www.yourtesdelarouvre.fr le Jeudi 9 juillet 2015 à 9:14
thanks
Par http://www.chambredereve.fr le Mardi 18 août 2015 à 3:11
C'est toujours gratifiant de découvrir que le mot Ornithorynque résume à lui seul des dizaines de textes. Veinard!
Par http://www.bo-club.fr le Samedi 21 novembre 2015 à 1:50
Ça fait un peu "kit du meurtrier en camping" !
Par http://www.30millionsdelapins.be le Samedi 5 décembre 2015 à 3:44
Moi je suis surtout étonnée que ce coloc ne soit pas déjà mort. Tu es d'une rare patience.
Par http://www.autoulousain.fr le Lundi 11 janvier 2016 à 10:03
c'est pas pour faire du mauvais esprit mais elle est dispo en téléchargement depuis le site ^^"
Par http://www.monserviceplus.fr le Vendredi 15 janvier 2016 à 9:47
C'est une manifestation primaire de l'instinct de groupe, celui-là même qui fait que des groupes d'animaux stupides et herbivores tentent de faire fuir un prédateur venant attaquer l'un d'entre eux.
Par http://www.lessaveursduterroir.fr le Lundi 18 janvier 2016 à 9:58
c'est pas pour faire du mauvais esprit mais elle est dispo en téléchargement depuis le site ^^"
Par http://www.chambredereve.fr le Vendredi 22 janvier 2016 à 8:24
Dans certains pays éloignés, on manifeste sa joie de vivre en prenant un bain de kérosène puis en allant fumer une cigarette.
Par http://www.penchaksds.fr le Mercredi 2 mars 2016 à 9:30
Nan, Pétrif, le détail cocasse est dans l'article, il suffit de bien regarder.
Par http://www.nioulargue-cafe.fr le Mercredi 23 mars 2016 à 8:26
ce truc, franchement, vous pouvez toujours crever.
Par http://www.dominiquecardinal.fr le Samedi 7 mai 2016 à 8:37
(YESS).
Par http://www.nioulargue-cafe.fr le Jeudi 26 mai 2016 à 9:19
Bref, il dégage bientôt, bon débarras.
Par http://www.ericsabatier.fr le Samedi 2 juillet 2016 à 3:59
fourmilière remplie de crétins.
Par victoria secret uk le Jeudi 11 août 2016 à 2:53
humain pour en arriver à poster ici.
Par nike blazer pas cher le Jeudi 8 septembre 2016 à 5:33
Justement, là est le problème.
Par casquette pas cher le Jeudi 13 octobre 2016 à 9:23
Voyez-vous, ça me consterne.
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